With special guest:
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Megan Hunter
… in conversation with Bill Kable
Megan Hunter is the co-author with Andrea Larochelle of a new book The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide with the sub-title Reclaim Your Life One Week at a Time.
Perhaps this book would not be necessary if everyone followed the recommendations contained in Megan’s earlier book Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell. However as Megan writes in Week 1 you cannot unconsciously or consciously rewrite history in an attempt to save yourself (and your kids) from the present circumstance. It is what it is.
If you have to deal with a high-conflict co-parent then best to find out what Megan has to say based on her expertise in this area and many years of experience. When a marriage breaks up it is not just the Courts that the parent has to worry about. All of a sudden you cannot have an expectation of seeing your children if the other parent becomes high conflict. You may not even be sure of having a roof over your head. Bad things come in threes so you might also find yourself looking for a job at the same time as Child Support start making unreasonable claims because they deem you are choosing not to be looking after your children. You might for the first time suspect that what the high conflict co-parent is saying about your sanity is right.
Yet your aim may be as simple as wanting to feel the way you did before the breakup. This is when Megan’s advice to reclaim your life comes into play. This book is a roadmap. One day at a time you get to build on a secure foundation for your very different future life.
You may be unsure how to respond to an aggressive email from your co-parent which is full of unreasonable demands. In this situation Megan refers to the BIFF response developed at the High Conflict Institute and one of its most popular. B is for brief, I is for informative, F is for friendly and the second F is for firm. Megan gives some examples of how to employ the BIFF approach being careful to avoid any suggestion that you should “biff” your co-partner in the Australian context.
Megan delves into lots of other areas in our conversation. How about getting the balance right, how to set boundaries and what does she mean by moderating behaviour through Have, Feel, Move.
Because this book is aimed at you personally, starting with how to look after yourself when under pressure you will readily agree that this book is not just for ex-partners. Everyone can learn from the week by week tips in this book to better manage all sorts of pressure situations such as employment issues, neighbourhood disputes, small debt worries in fact all the difficulties we face in carrying on life as usual. As an accomplished presenter on the world scene Megan Hunter is a joy to listen to and everyone will benefit from hearing what she has to say.
Megan Hunter
Megan Hunter MBA is CEO of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego California which she co-founded with Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq who developed the high conflict personality theory. Megan gives keynote speeches on conflict communication and provides training on high-conflict disputes to professionals around the world. Megan specialises in helping professionals learn skills to deal with challenging clients and co-workers. Previously she was the Family Law Specialist at the Arizona Supreme Court, Administrative Office of the Courts. Megan and her husband Paul live in Arizona. Other books by Megan include Bait & Switch and Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell.
Song selection by our guest: September by Earth, Wind & Fire