Our Boys: Raising strong, happy sons from boyhood to manhood

With special guests:

• Richard Aston & Ruth Kerr

On this program we get to talk to good people who are making a difference in our society. Our guests today, Richard Aston and his wife Ruth Kerr, fit this category and they speak to us from across the ditch in New Zealand.

For fifeen years Richard and Ruth through the Big Buddy program have been providing fatherless boys with a buddy, someone who can show them the way to manhood. These buddies are volunteer mentors who are carefully chosen by going through a detailed screening. The boys know they can rely on their buddies to turn up when expected and listen to what is happening in the boys’ lives. And they get to do fun things.

Having seen up close and personal what makes boys tick Richard and Ruth have distilled for us what works and what does not work when the aim is to develop our boys into adults. This is practical and down to earth advice set out in their new book Our Boys: Raising strong, happy sons from boyhood to manhood.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Are Fathers Important for Adolescents?

With special guest:

• Dr William (Bill) Fabricius

Most studies in the area of children and families concentrate on the influence of mothers. Fathers are understudied in this area. For this reason we welcome the results of a paper on the role of fathers and we have the opportunity today to speak with one of its lead authors, Associate Professor Dr William Fabricius who joins us from New York. The title of the paper is Effects of the Inter-Parental Relationship on Adolescents’ Emotional Security and Adjustment: The Important Role of Fathers.

This new study looked at hundreds of adolescents, a balanced mix of those living with biological dads and those with stepdads studied in three waves from Grades 7 to 12 across ethnic and gender lines. The research measured the effect of non-violent parental conflict, Intimate Partner Violence and demonstrated affection. The findings revealed the importance of marital quality, namely the level of parental love and closeness, and interestingly “mattering to father.”

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Transformation: Turning tragedy into triumph

With special guest:

• Dr Tim Sharp

Our guest in this program is Dr Tim Sharp, also known as Dr Happy.

Tim has produced a new book Transformation: Turning tragedy into triumph and he joins us today to spread a little happiness. The book has eleven people making a contribution with a story about themselves or someone close to them. Some of the contributors’ stories are well-known while others tell of living a quiet life before they reached a turning point in their life story. Looking outside themselves brought surprising benefits not only to others but to the contributors as well.

There is great variety in the exploration of these personal and true stories. Tim Sharp edits the stories and adds professional reflections and recommendations after each chapter. Tim even adds his own story on how he became Dr Happy after facing his personal demons.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Reflective Parenting

With special guest:

• Dr Alistair Cooper
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

“She has a mind of her own” is something we hear often enough when parents are talking about the challenges they face in trying to relate with their children. Yet if parents accepted this as fact and tried to find out what was going on inside this other mind the world would become a lot less complicated for both parent and child. With co-author Dr Sheila Redfern our guest today Dr Alistair Cooper has written a new book Reflective Parenting: A Guide to Understanding What’s Going on in Your Child’s Mind showing how to read your child’s mind and use this knowledge to improve your relationship. If you follow the principles of reflective parenting in everyday interactions it will help your child achieve her full potential and save your sanity.

The book is filled with practical advice and real life situations based on Ali’s extensive clinical experience and in some cases drawing on his experience with his own children to show us the possibilities.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Suicide Row

With special guest:

• Michael Griffith
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

Michael Griffith is a playwright and theatre director whose new show, Suicide Row, premiered in Melbourne in November.

The play tells the story of four Australian men who find themselves stuck on the way after discovering that their individual suicide attempts have miraculously failed.

But if this isn’t the end then why are they stuck? The Gods never reply. As time slows and as hindsight drags in an inescapable tide of regret, these men come to wonder if in order to escape this frustrating nothingness and return home, does life expect them to do something first. If so, what?

The play is aimed at men both young and old. It is powerful but not bleak, funny but not black and while it has a clear anti-suicide message, it does not preach. Most importantly it is written with the express aim of helping to reduce the high levels of male suicide in Australia.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Blokepedia

With special guest:

• Josh Quarmby
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

Josh Quarmby is the founder of Blokepedia, a community of men who have conversations that matter about the issues they care about.

Josh launched Blokepedia in January 2017 with the aim of giving men the opportunity to talk about issues that affect them, from mental and physical health through to relationships. Its target audience is men aged 25 to 55.

What originally started as a simple blogsite is now growing into a unique mix of online and face to face resources for men. This growth is driven by insight and feedback from the Blokepedia audience. Many men are looking for a way to connect with other men, to share their stories, to begin important conversations and provide support for each other.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Supporting Men and Boys in Tasmania

With special guest:

• Jonathan Bedloe
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

Jonathan Bedloe has been an advocate for men’s health and wellbeing for the past ten years.

Jonathan’s focus on men’;s health and wellbeing has been a core passion since establishing a Men’s Shed in Hobart in 2005.

He previously worked for seven years as the Men’s Health Policy Officer with the Tasmanian Department of Health and Human Services. Jonathan has held voluntary board positions with the Australian Men’s Health Forum, the Tasmanian Men’s Shed Association and Tasmen.

Jonathan is chair of Men’s Resources Tasmania (MRT), a facilitator for the ASIST suicide intervention program, and Development Officer for Neighbourhood Houses Tasmania. MRT is currently the main vehicle for his work in men’s health and wellbeing.

Jonathan is passionate about seeing improved support for the health and wellbeing of men and boys and is an advocate for growing the conversation about men’s health - both with men, and in the wider community and public sector.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

The Power of Good People

With special guest:

• Para Paheer

Para Paheer was five years old when civil war between Tamils and the Sinhalese government started in Sri Lanka and continued for the next twenty six years. At the time Para did not know that the causes went back to 1830 when the Tamil people were imported to Sri Lanka to work on the plantations in conditions that were not far off slavery. Para had spent his childhood in poverty by Australian standards but when the war began conditions got even harder. Survival required courage, ingenuity and in Para’s case the kindness of strangers.

The inspiring part of Para’s story, as told in The Power of Good People: Surviving the Sri Lankan Civil War, is that he describes accurately and fully some of the horrors he witnessed and experienced personally yet he can focus his attention on the good things that people he has met along the way have done for him and his family.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family

With special guest:

• Dr Anne-Marie Slaughter

When our guest today Dr Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote an article for The Atlantic magazine in 2012 it created what could be described as a firestorm. The article had an estimated 2.7 million views and sparked intense debate. Someone seen as a leading light in feminism was questioning the feminist narrative.

The article was called “Why women still can’t have it all” but clearly there was some unfinished business and this became the title of her new book Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family in which she uncovers the missing piece of the puzzle.

Anne-Marie is clearly a gifted communicator as demonstrated in several high-powered careers, most notably her time as Director of Policy Planning in the US State Department working alongside Hillary Clinton, the Secretary of State.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Understanding Parental Alienation

With special guests:

• Karen & Nick Woodall

Everyone seems to know someone who has been affected by parental alienation, even if the name of the condition may not be recognised. We have all seen children, following a separation, who reject a parent and cling to the other parent when there is no good reason for doing so.

We would expect therapists working in this area to be on the lookout for the tell-tale signs that a child is fully alienated. However because of a galling lack of understanding of the condition this is not always so. Even the early signs may be missed such as when a child who is usually happy to come to your house or come with you on trips begins to find it difficult to do so.

Once the alienation has taken root it is obvious to any thinking person that there is something wrong because the child’s reality has been distorted. At that point the worst aspect of a separation with another parent may take place, namely, you lose your child.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Dadvice

With special guest:

• Dr Luke Martin

Seriously! Becoming a Dad can be a white-knuckle ride and sometimes it can be overwhelming. When you leave the hospital carrying a new baby it might be the first time it hits you that you have taken on an enormous responsibility and yet you are not issued with an instruction booklet.

Men have lots of different reactions when they hear that they are about to be joined by a new family member who will need 24-hour support. Some jump around, some think about the meaning of life and some might even feel depressed. The main thing to remember is that whatever feelings you experience you will not be the first. This is where Dadvice comes in, a new mental health campaign for new Dads developed by beyondblue and funded by the Movember Foundation.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

The Fathering Project

With special guest:

• John Bond

Our guest today is the son of a very famous father, Alan Bond, who is forever linked with Australia winning the America’s Cup in 1983. John Bond was there for this hugely significant event in the USA, one which lifted the whole country. Where to after that?

John Bond returned to Australia and got his motivation when he heard an address by Professor Bruce Robinson which inspired him to support the most powerful force for reducing the chances of our kids falling victim to drugs, suicide and crime. Having an effective father or even a father figure leads to reduced incidence of crime, alcohol and drug abuse; it enhances mental health and self-esteem, leads to improved school engagement and performance, social competence and improved health behaviours generally. Professor Robinson, who has previously been a guest on Dads on the Air provided the research which is compelling.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Dads and their Babies

With special guest:

• Dr Dawson Cooke

We will all readily make the assumption that the bond between mothers and their babies is important for the health of the family but what about the dad-baby bond? Our guest today is Dr Dawson Cooke who is able to discuss that relationship based on the findings in his study recently published in Infant Mental Health. Dr Cooke has been working with parents and particularly fathers for the last 15 years both in his practice and as a researcher at Curtin University in WA. In his latest study which involved 451 families he has made some findings that have caught the attention of the media.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Parents Beyond Breakup

With special guest:

• Pete Nicholls

Who are Parents Beyond Breakup?

If you have not heard already about Parents Beyond Breakup it is very likely that you will soon because the word is getting out from our guest today Pete Nicholls who has been instrumental in raising awareness in the community. Parents Beyond Breakup is a national charity working in many communities around Australia focussing on suicide prevention in one of the demographics most at risk, namely separating parents.

Parents Beyond Breakup is the parent body for the well-known Dads in Distress who have been guests on the program many times previously and provided presenter Phil York for several years. But as our guest today Pete Nicholls explains a demand has grown for helping mothers in times of crisis and so Parents Beyond Breakup now incorporates both Dads in Distress and Mums in Distress as part of its operations.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

#DADUP

With special guest:

• Nick Thorpe

Scotland has become a hotbed of reform in supporting dads.

After the highly successful Year of the Dad campaign in 2016 Fathers Network Scotland has again joined with the Scottish Government in the 2017 campaign called Dad Up. In today’s program we cross to Edinburgh to speak to Nick Thorpe who is the Head of Communications for Fathers Network Scotland to hear directly about the successes and what has been learned through these initiatives.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

The Dust of Uruzgan

With special guest:

• Fred Smith

It is difficult to categorise Fred Smith. After completing University qualifications he became a diplomat but he is also a musician who has made “seven or eight” albums. When a diplomatic position in Afghanistan became available he decided to apply against some professional advice because he looked on it as a type of therapy. So after being selected to represent Australia in this beautiful but troubled land it was off to Kabul with guitar in hand.

It has become Australia’s longest war and Fred presents the first comprehensive on-the-ground account of Australia’s mission in his book The Dust of Uruzgan. Today we get to speak with Fred Smith about his role with the competing interests in that country, the Government, the tribal leaders, the insurgent factors, drug lords, the general population, the national security forces and the internationals. When Fred was not busy dealing with all these interests he wrote candid, in some cases heart wrenching, music about his experiences and those of his countrymen far from home. Fred’s website has information about how to obtain Fred’s music and a lot more besides.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Terry Virts Astronaut Father

With special guest:

• Terry Virts

In today’s show we reach for the heavens.

Our guest is Terry Virts an American Air Force Colonel and test pilot who was selected by NASA to be an Astronaut in 2000 and subsequently made his first flight into space as the pilot of space shuttle Endeavour STS 130. In 2014 Terry launched into space again from Baikonur, Kazakhstan to ride to the International Space Shuttle where he was to be the Commander and he stayed on the station for 200 days.

Terry has lots of stories to fascinate those of us who may have never been in charge of going higher than the attic. We are also interested in the family man and the effect on his family of these long absences when he is doing dangerous exciting work with the world media watching. As Terry tells us children have a way of bringing you back to earth if you get too caught up in your own world and his stories about reunions with his family are heart warming. The love of Terry’s daughter is preserved forever after she arranged with a car manufacturer to draw a 5 square kilometre message saying that she loved her dad.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Didge Group Connection to Culture

With special guest:

• Stuart McMinn

Stuart McMinn is working in a program that draws on tens of thousands of years of culture to benefit our youth, in particular our young Indigenous men.

Following on from the vision of local Indigenous man, Uncle Bob Williams from the Mingaletta Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders Corporation, Interrelate Central Coast supported the establishment of the Young Boys Didgeridoo and Cultural Group, ‘Didge’, in mid-2011. This new group offered cultural and other supports which had an immediate and significant impact.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

Sam’s Best Shot

With special guest:

• Dr James Best

How many Dads will walk away from their jobs for six months, sell their home and then travel to the wilds of Africa in the hope that it will be good for their son?

We like to think most Dads would do it. Today we get to speak to Dr James Best who did exactly that with his 14 year old son Sam. Sam said he went away as a boy and came back as a person summing up what his parents had hoped for when they embarked on this adventure.

Sam has special needs because he has been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. Sam is around about the middle of the spectrum not at the extreme end of either those who cannot talk or the savants. Sam can read and write, he is good at maths and music. He comes out with quirky interpretations of what others see and is often described as a charmer. Sam’s greatest difficulty is with social communication, maintaining eye contact and focussing on a task. He is prone to outbursts, even violent outbursts when frustrated.

Behind the thinking of James was that they had tried all the conventional approaches to dealing with autism and yet they still worried whether Sam would be able to form relationships, get a job and to all the other things we regard as normal in Western society. So having done a lot of scientific research on their own and with the support of the experts in the field Sam and his wife Benison decided to take on something different.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...