Year of the Dad

With special guest:

• Nick Thorpe

A special program to celebrate National Families Week

Our guest today is Nick Thorpe who is used to taking on big challenges. One such challenge was to voyage to Easter Island on a raft of reeds. Now he is working on making Scotland the best place in the world for children to grow up and as part of that campaign he is promoting 2016 as the Year of the Dad. This is part of the campaign organised by the Fathers Network Scotland with support from the Scottish Government.

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Parents Acting Badly

With special guest:

• Dr Jennifer Harman

Why is it that we never see young animals rejecting a caring parent in the way we see some children acting? The behaviour of the other parent may be the cause and this strange behaviour may be due to Parental Alienation.

Our guest today is Associate Professor Jennifer Harman who tells us that the problem of Parental Alienation is all too common and getting worse around the world yet it is still decried by some as “junk science”.

Jennifer tells us that the scientific analysis of Parental Alienation is still at a beginning stage. The research is still focussing on the description of Parental Alienation because we have not yet reached the predictive stage. This is the normal scientific approach to research and can be compared with where we are up to with the topic du jour, domestic violence. However no-one denies the existence of domestic violence in the way they once did.

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Private Bill: In Love and War

With special guest:

• Barrie Cassidy

It makes for a rare occasion when Barrie Cassidy goes to the other side of the microphone. Barrie is one of Australia’s most respected and experienced political journalists and we welcome him to Dads on the Air.

But we are not going to discuss politics in this program. We are going to find out more about Barrie’s father Bill who is the main subject in Barrie’s book Private Bill: In Love and War.

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Being Dads

With special guest:

• David Willans

There are changes happening in Western societies that are hard to ignore. Our Dads are getting more involved in one-on-one relationships with their children and if that means reducing the time put into the provider role then that is the price for the modern family.

Our guest today David Willans speaks to us from London and he tells us what led to a decision he made in 2014 regarding a change in his family arrangements. David cannot now even remember what the issue was with his son but he clearly remembers yelling at his then 5 year old. We all know the feeling when you are under pressure and a child seems oblivious. It can be a bit like a kettle reaching boiling point.

On this day two years ago David saw that his young son was being attacked by an angry man that he didn’t recognise as himself. Rather than being the great Dad he had always aspired to be he had become a cross Dad and his 5 year old child did not know how to respond.

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The Fathering Project

With special guest:

• John Bond

Our guest today is the son of a very famous father, Alan Bond who is forever linked with Australia winning the America’s Cup in 1983. John Bond was there for this hugely significant event in the USA, one which lifted the whole country. Where to after that?

John Bond returned to Australia and got his motivation when he heard an address by Professor Bruce Robinson which inspired him to support the most powerful force for reducing the chances of our kids falling victim to drugs, suicide and crime. Having an effective father or even a father figure leads to reduced incidence of crime, alcohol and drug abuse; it enhances mental health and self-esteem, leads to improved school engagement and performance, social competence and improved health behaviours generally. Professor Robinson, who has previously been a guest on Dads on the Air provided the research which is compelling.

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SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his new novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

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Didge Group Connection to Culture

With special guest:

• Stuart McMinn

Our National Close the Gap Day program

Stuart McMinn is working in a program that draws on tens of thousands of years of culture to benefit our youth, in particular our young Indigenous men.

Following on from the vision of local Indigenous man, Uncle Bob Williams from the Mingaletta Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders Corporation, Interrelate Central Coast supported the establishment of the Young Boys Didgeridoo and Cultural Group, ‘Didge’, in mid-2011. This new group offered cultural and other supports which had an immediate and significant impact.

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Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

Lisa Heim is the author of Protecting Emilie and in this book she tells the story of what happens to people catapulted into this nightmare world of parental alienation, something that could happen to you, your neighbour or parents on the other side of the world. Lisa gives an account of her relationship with her husband, his daughter Emilie, in the title of the book, and her own daughter, as it was affected by the conflict instigated by Emilie’s mother.

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Fathering Adventures

With special guest:

• Darren Lewis

He doesn’t claim to have been the beginning of all fathering adventures but in July 2008 Darren Lewis started an organisation by that name which has made many fathers and their children come alive through adventure based activities. Darren quotes Howard Thurman in recognising that the world needs people who have come alive.

We live in a world where fathers commonly spend just 8 minutes a day with each of their children, sometimes it is as little as 57 seconds on a week day. Darren provides an opportunity for Dads to spend dedicated time with their children in a fun environment.

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Separate Well or Separation Hell

With special guest:

• Peter Nowosielski

If we are planning on buying a house, a car or even a pair of shoes most of us will engage in some research before embarking down that road. Therefore it is passingly strange that when we arrive at a place where decisions are going to have a major impact on our lives and those we love the most our research is often limited to asking a few friends what they think. If professional advice is sought it is usually from the lawyers who in our adversarial system have most to gain from promoting conflict so that it finishes up in court.

Our guest today is a founder of Separate Well consultancy services providing expert independent advice on how to do the best for your family if separation from your partner is the only option. And in his book Separate Well or Separation Hell Peter draws on over ten years’ experience to dispel myths associated with separation and divorce. Peter provides practical advice in down to earth language. You will not find any lawyers’ jargon here.

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Out on a Limb: A Single Father’s Guide to his Family’s Lore of the Jungle

With special guest:

• Simon Turner

Simon Turner’s book Out on a Limb is refreshingly plain speaking. To read the book is like sitting down with a mate who has some important, perhaps life-changing, information to share. Using language we can all relate to, Simon takes us through the jungle that confronts a father at the gates of a Family Law dispute with the mother of their children.

Simon discusses what he describes as the three golden rules that were passed on to him informally by a Family Court Judge in an Art Gallery rather than a court room. Based on these golden rules Simon gives some invaluable ideas about how a dad can give himself the best chance of continuing to parent his child after a separation or divorce.

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How much father? How have dads evolved since the 1930s?

With special guest:

• Dr Peter West

How have dads evolved since the 1930s? In the 1990s, Dr Peter West interviewed a wide variety of men who grew up in the decades between the Depression and the final decade on the 20^th Century. The result of those interviews was the book Fathers, Sons and Lovers: Men Talk About Their Lives from the 1930s to Today. From footballers to policemen, from railway workers to farmers, he provided a rare glimpse into the lived realities or everyday Australian dads.

In this program, Glen Poole of Helping Men interviews Peter about the changing nature of fatherhood since the 1930s, asks how things have changed for dads since he wrote his book nearly 20 years ago and explores what fatherhood holds for the next generation of dads.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

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The Making of Men

With special guest:

• Dr Arne Rubinstein

“If we don’t initiate our boys they will burn down the village to feel the heat.” This is an African proverb quoted by our guest today Dr Arne Rubinstein that could describe the situation for young men today in Australia and other societies far from Africa.

The Making of Men is a book that Dr Arne Rubinstein has written after seeing first-hand in his medical practice the disasters that can befall boys who are not initiated into life as a man in the community. Arne recognises the qualities valued in young boys when they are naturally loving, energetic, funny, creative and sensitive. What happens then, when so many kids get into trouble as teenagers?

In this program we talk about one of the most important ways in which the community or village can play a role in bringing the boy through to being a valuable man in the community.

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Ugly: A beaut story about one very ugly kid

With special guest:

• Robert Hoge

Robert Hoge has a daughter Imogen who sums it up best. She said about Robert’s book Ugly “It’s important to tell your story especially when you’re different.”

As one of the many roles that our guest today has filled with distinction he is an advocate for those with a disability and today we hear what it is like to grow up in a special club.

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WhiteRibbon.org

With special guest:

• Erin Pizzey

There is a constant barrage at this time of year in the press and on TV denouncing domestic violence against women. While this is in itself a worthy cause the zealots can not only overlook the information available but also lose track of the objective.

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The Men’s Shed Movement: The Company of Men

With special guest:

• Prof Barry Golding

When we think of great Australian inventions we might be referring to the Black Box Flight Recorder, electronic pacemakers, cochlear implants or even the stump-jump plough. But today we talk about another Australian invention that has spread internationally and saved thousands of men’s lives.

Our guest today is Dr Barry Golding who is the honorary patron of the Australian Men’s Shed Association and he provides a fascinating insight into the development and growth of this iconic Australian success story. Barry Golding gives us the benefit of his fifteen years of research in his new book The Men’s Shed Movement: The Company of Men. In talking to us today Barry lets us discover what actually goes on inside the Men’s Sheds we see as we pass through so many country towns.

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Splitting ... World Mental Health Day

With special guest:

• Bill Eddy

Raising issues for World Mental Health Day and National Mental Health Week

The word Splitting brings to mind a number of possibilities but in Bill Eddy’s book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder it is not the obvious meaning of breaking up with a partner. Here we are looking at “splitting” meaning a defence mechanism universally seen in people with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders. It means unconsciously seeing people as all good or all bad and is especially prevalent when there is stress such as in a break-up with someone the person afflicted sees as critical to emotional survival.

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Relating to Men

With special guest:

• Jasmin Newman

Why would a mother of two children living in the idyllic town of Merimbula on the south coast of NSW become an advocate for men and their children? Jasmin Newman is the right person to ask.

Jasmin tells us she was affronted by the lack of social justice towards men in our society where the pain of many men is ignored and dismissed as irrelevant. At the extreme end of this pain is the despair and hopelessness associated with suicide. We hear from Jasmin the truly extraordinary information that on average 39 men are recorded in the Australian statistics every week as “death by suicide.”

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Man Code

With special guest:

• Carolyn Managh

Carolyn Managh, the Man Whisperer, comes to our program today to lift the lid on what Australian men think about masculinity, women, and brands treating them like idiots. To do this Carolyn interviewed 140 Australian men including influential leaders and role models from diverse aspects of Australian life. These included Australian men in business, sport, men’s brands, military, popular culture, health, hospitality, construction and more.

The resulting data is statistically significant and it also paints a picture of what Australian men think on issues such as whether chivalry is dead. On the question of whether Australian men are romantic Carolyn’s conclusion is that Aussie men do want the romance but they want to include an element of surprise.

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