Mendemic: Inside the man cave

With special guest:

• Cindy Rochstein

Cindy Rochstein is very clear about this. She is not a man and her book Mendemic is not telling her story.

However this outsider has been granted access in an unprecedented way to the complex lives of her male subjects. The stories Cindy chooses to include will help all of us understand the difference between the stereotypical male and the individual male as she takes us on adventure. Mendemic presents the raw voices of the male contributors, some forty men of many different ages and backgrounds who surprised Cindy and sometimes themselves with their openness and rare insights.

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Help! My Son Hates School

With special guest:

• Janet Allison

After listening to this show many men will be wishing that they could have had Janet Allison as their teacher in years gone by. Janet speaks to us from Portland Oregon in the USA where she has founded the organisation Boys Alive! to benefit teachers and children in the education process. Janet’s warm style is engaging and inspiring.

It may even sound a little funny to hear a boy say “I hate school” but behind that assertion are some worrying realities in the USA as mirrored in Australia. These include that boys far outweigh girls in every negative statistic as for example more boys than girls are expelled from preschool! More boys than girls have behaviour issues in elementary school; more boys drop out of high school than girls and on it goes.

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Still a Pygmy

With special guest:

• Isaac Bacirongo

When you are born and raised in Australia you know little about life as a refugee despite it being a frequent topic for conversation and opinion. Most of us have never spoken to a refugee.

Our guest today is Isaac Bacirongo who arrived in Sydney in 2003 with his wife and ten children as refugees after surviving the effects of Rwanda’s civil war in his own country, Congo.

In his book Still a Pygmy Isaac tells us about his struggles to save his identity as a Pygmy from extinction. In Africa Pygmies are regarded by some other groups as less than human. Against that background Isaac fought to go to school and get an education. He went on to establish successful businesses, owned several properties and a fleet of cars but all that was lost when the invading army arrived.

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Schools of Fish

With special guest:

• Alan Sampson

Schools of Fish won the 2015 Finch Memoir Prize for author Alan Sampson, a Queenslander, who by telling us about his own experiences lets us find out much about the importance of a father’s relationship with his children. A big part of the story relates to Alan’s role as Principal at the well-known Cavendish Road State High School in Brisbane. There are times at school when personal courage is required as well as unshakable integrity if favourable results are to be achieved.

At the same time as we get this fascinating look into the real world of a school Principal we get a growing realisation that there were issues on the home front with Alan’s youngest child and these could not be ignored. Alan had to find out if his strict authoritarian approach, first taught to him by his own father, and applied in his school roles will also work at home with his youngest child who is definitely different.

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The Lion, The Switch, and the Cuckoo: Adultery in a test tube

With special guest:

• Jonathan Grindon

A cuckoo has achieved its notoriety due to its practice of laying its eggs in the nests of other species, tricking parent birds into raising unrelated offspring when they hatch. Our guest today is Jonathan Grindon who due to the deception of his then wife, Annette, experienced firsthand that this behaviour is not confined to the animal kingdom.

This is not the usual way that husbands may be cuckolded. Jonathan was a sperm donor, the biological mother is an unknown Spanish woman and the embryo was placed in the womb of Annette. But wait, it was revealed some six years later that in fact the sperm had been substituted, the biological father of the child was not Jonathan at all but a previous boyfriend of Annette’s who happened to be in the vicinity of the IVF clinic when they were implanting the seed.

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From Poppy with Love: Letters from a Grandfather to the Grandchildren He Isn’t Allowed to See

With special guest:

• Rev Dr John Killinger

In today’s program we are invited into the usually private world of conversations between a grandparent and his grandchildren. Strangely we can get the message very clearly from the other side of the world but the grandchildren themselves are completely unaware of the one way conversations in the letters written to them, letters that are so tender, thoughtful, wise and loving.

In his book From Poppy with Love: Letters from a Grandfather to the Grandchildren He Isn’t Allowed to See Dr John Killinger addresses his pain at being excluded from his four grandchildren in the best way he knows how by writing letters setting out the lives and dreams and personalities of the grandparents they were prevented from seeing. This has by no means been an easy task as it is a constant reminder of the separation. However John has benefitted from the cathartic effect of his writing and he hopes that one day his grandchildren will have the opportunity to read the letters contained in three volumes published by The Intermundia Press. In this way they will be able to get an understanding of their provenance. 

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Not All Superheroes Wear Capes

With special guest:

• Quentin Kenihan

Quentin crashes Dads on the Air?

Our guest today is Quentin Kenihan who first came to public attention over thirty years ago when he was interviewed by Mike Willesee for national TV. All these years later we hear again from Quentin about a series of extraordinary experiences, superhero adventures and also trips to the other end of the spectrum when it all seemed very bleak.

At times Quentin has battled depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety and pain. But Quentin has never let disappointment keep him low for long. Before you know it he has his zest for life back again and he is off chasing another goal from his bucket list that is constantly being updated.

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COOKING for Kids BY DADS

 

With special guest:

• Mick Both

When you listen to Mick’s interview, just like when you see his face looking straight at you on the cover of his new book you know the sort of bloke he is. Mick is a straight shooter with a background in the military who takes us into the kitchen on a practical mission. COOKING for Kids BY DADS does not assume any prior knowledge of the essential art of cooking. In language we can all understand and with gorgeous photos we get the picture on how Dad can go from zero to hero with his kids and his family generally.

This book is most needed when Dad suddenly realises that for whatever reason he should be the one doing the cooking. This could be due to one-off events or when a more permanent arrangement is required and Dad cannot rely on a significant other to feed the hungry. Not that some Mums haven’t caught up with the benefits of being able to leave Dad in the kitchen or to brush up themselves on a few basics.

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International Men’s Day 2016

With special guest:

• Diane Sears

Today we are lucky that we get the chance to go to the heart of an international movement by speaking to Diane Sears in the USA about the 2016 International Men’s Day (IMD). Diane is the USA Co-Ordinator for IMD and is a dynamo in the movement with a special interest in caring for the increasing number of incarcerated men and boys.

The theme for IMD this year is “Talk About Male Suicide”. Throughout the world the number of deaths by suicide is in the order of 800,000 per year. And in 99% of countries the majority of these people are the men and boys of the community. In the USA and Australia the ratio of men to women who take their life by suicide is three to one. We must find out why we are losing so many men and boys leaving others to grieve when even one death is too many.

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Stop Men Dying Too Young

With special guest:

• Sam Gledhill

Movember is a classic example of someone having a great idea.

In 2003 a few blokes came up with the idea of combining fundraising with a fashion statement for men and 13 years later that idea has led to over $700m being raised to benefit men’s health in some areas that are not fashionable.

Our guest today is Sam Gledhill who is the Men’s Health Program Manager at Movember. We had a fantastic interview with Sam last year in Movember and this year there is a lot to talk about as the movement keeps expanding.

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Life in Limbo: My battle with depression, infertility and mental illness

With special guest:

• Matt Barwick

In his book Life in Limbo Matt Barwick says that men in their desire to be alpha-male typically hide behind an impenetrable wall of machismo. So if anyone asks “How ya going?” the response is most likely going to be a stoic “Yeah everything’s fine.” No-one must see any sign of weakness or fragility, particularly male friends. The result is that most men avoid open and honest communication about physical or mental health.

This book changes that expectation in a big way. Matt writes openly, candidly and even dispenses some laid back humour along the way in describing his own extreme personal experiences.

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Working Class Boy

With special guest:

• Jimmy Barnes

Normally we expect to listen to Jimmy Barnes’s creative output as the lead singer and one of the main songwriters for iconic Australian rock band Cold Chisel. But Jimmy has now produced Working Class Boy which has become an Australian bestselling book.

This is not the story of that well-known band or his more recent exploration of the soul music catalogue. In today’s program we hear about Jimmy’s family upbringing and the influence that had on him in his adopted country.

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Help Change the Debate

With special guest:

• Bettina Arndt

When Bettina Arndt talked about sex on Australian national television and radio it was relatively easy to get the truth out in an area that tends to be covered up.

But our guest today must sometimes feel like a voice crying in the wilderness when she turns her attention to the domestic violence industry. It is hard to get the real story out when institutions such as the ABC and the daily newspapers generally contribute to the beat-up regarding domestic violence in our community.

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Fathers Reaching Out

With special guest:

• Mark Williams

Our guest in today’s program is Mark Williams who has been awarded “Inspirational Father of the Year” at the Pride of Britain awards. This is impressive enough but it also shows how far he has come since the birth of his son Ethan in 2004.

Both Mark and his wife Michelle suffered crippling anxiety after the birth and Mark hit rock bottom when he began to experience suicidal thoughts. And yet the reason for the torrent of negative emotions and spiralling depression had less to do with their son than the mental health issues that were confronting them. In hindsight Mark recognises that he had experienced a condition long recognised in mothers, that of post-natal depression.

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Parental Alienation Awareness Day Australia

With special guest:

• Amanda Sillars

Sometimes good can come from the most horrific events in a person’s life.

Amanda Sillars is our guest in this program and Amanda has experienced extreme parental alienation both as a child and a targeted parent. Her reaction has been to become an energetic campaigner against parental alienation which affects so many children and parents in our community.

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The Greatness of Dads

With special guest:

• Kirsten Matthew

Kirsten Matthew was inspired by her father to take on the Big Apple where she worked as a journalist for ten years. This is a huge achievement considering that she arrived in New York without even a green card, no job offers not even any friends. At a low point Kirsten rang her father who gave some simple advice to get on with it and that was enough to get her established.

After that experience and lots of other insights, wisdoms and truths from her father Kirsten realised that the universal threads of fatherhood can be found the world over. So she set about the task of recording some quotes, song lyrics, artwork and images of dads throughout history and around the world. The result of these efforts is a beautifully presented book The Greatness of Dads.

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Connect, Communicate, Care

With special guest:

• Kim Borrowdale

The World Health Organisation estimates that over 800,000 people die by suicide every year - that’s one every 40 seconds. In Australia the latest figures show that 2,684 Australians took their own life in 2014. And what is worse is that the official figures are undoubtedly conservative because of the method of reporting and the desire by survivors to avoid the stigma of having a family member dying in that way.

Against this desire to keep the facts quiet, communication is a primary way of raising awareness in the community. Communication is the driver of R U OK?, an Australian group doing great work to help reduce suicide. We also hear how the Connect Communicate Care messages of World Suicide Prevention Day are important ways of responding to the unacceptably high suicide rate in Australia.

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The Prostate Cancer Challenge

With special guest:

• Peter Dornan AM

Our guest is not squeamish about many things. He opens up to us today about what it is like to face a condition that we still do not like talking about, urinary incontinence. Incontinence affects men and women; it has been described as the most widespread yet least known and understood affliction in society today. This problem can seriously impact on your lifestyle, job, emotional wellbeing, exercise activity and most importantly, your sex life.

Peter Dornan has been a leading Physiotherapist for over fifty years and during that time he has helped patients with all sorts of complaints. Yet twenty years ago he did not know what a prostate was when he was told that he had prostate cancer and if he did not take any action it would kill him.

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Youth Express

With special guest:

• James Winter

Making a living in the Australian theatre has never been an easy task. Our guest today is James Winter an actor and director who has raised the level of difficulty significantly.

James draws on his over 20 years’ experience in the arts industry to create performance with non-performers, particularly the marginalised and at risk youthful members of our community. In doing this work through the Belvoir St Theatre’s Outreach Program, Youth Express, James engages with young people who may be homeless and find themselves excluded from mainstream education.

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Father’s Day is Special

With special guest:

• Warwick Marsh

Today we welcome Warwick Marsh as we approach Father’s Day in 2016. Warwick started the Dads4 Kids Fatherhood Foundation not long after Dads on the Air first hit the airwaves and has been one of our most frequent guests over the years.

Warwick brings enormous enthusiasm to everything he does and he does a lot. To get the message out about what it can mean to be a father Warwick has through the Dads4 Kids Foundation produced Community Service Announcements which have been taken up by network television stations. We urge everyone to see these vignettes, if not on your local TV station then on Dads4Kids YouTube channel. In the 2016 edition it tears at your heartstrings to hear a range of children from many different backgrounds provide a script with the simple word “Dad” or sometimes “Daddy”.

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